a sound like someone trying not to make a sound
for the first time in a good little while, things seem to be coming up milhouse. despite the occasional booze-fueled rant at the bar or mild panic attack provoked by the dipshit parade that files through the coffee shop in ever increasing numbers as the weather gets warmer, for the most part i'm feelin' fine. i have new hair, a new house, a new bike, the beginnings of a new body, (hopefully) a new tattoo, and a better fucking attitude (for the most part) than i've had for the majority of this last year.
but naturally, something has to rise up and kick me in the ass. once again, my brain is conspiring against me. this time, it's jacked my circadian rhythm into something unprecedented that makes no sense. every goddamn morning, no matter how late i go to sleep, every single fucking morning i wake up at 7. now i get that this isn't a big deal for a lot of people, like you commuting 9to5ers that probably have to be up and at 'em by 6, or even my coworkers at the coffee shop who are starting the workday at 7, but shit, my day starts at 3 pm. generally i go to bed around 3 or 4. so this (in case the skills of basic math escape you) amounts to approximately 3-4 hours of fitful sleep a night. yeah, it'd be different if i slept soundly during those hours, but instead i get that kind of sleep that's peppered with really vivid dreams so that when you wake up you feel like you've been awake having bizarre adventures the entire time anyway.
so sarah, you might say, why don't you try not going to sleep at 4 in the morning? to which i say to you, fuck you, i'm an adult and i'll stay up past my bedtime and eat ice cream for breakfast if i want. also, i've tried. oh, how i've tried. but the 4-hour rule is suspended in time, doomed to enact itself no matter where i start the timer. if i try to be a grownup and go to bed at midnight, i will inevitably wake up at 4 with no hopes of getting back to sleep and lots of pointless myspacing and ceiling-staring until the sun comes up.
i realize none of you give a shit. i'm writing this because i'm cranky. i haven't gotten a good night's sleep in like 3 weeks and i'm pissed and i'm going to complain so take that, internets.
but naturally, something has to rise up and kick me in the ass. once again, my brain is conspiring against me. this time, it's jacked my circadian rhythm into something unprecedented that makes no sense. every goddamn morning, no matter how late i go to sleep, every single fucking morning i wake up at 7. now i get that this isn't a big deal for a lot of people, like you commuting 9to5ers that probably have to be up and at 'em by 6, or even my coworkers at the coffee shop who are starting the workday at 7, but shit, my day starts at 3 pm. generally i go to bed around 3 or 4. so this (in case the skills of basic math escape you) amounts to approximately 3-4 hours of fitful sleep a night. yeah, it'd be different if i slept soundly during those hours, but instead i get that kind of sleep that's peppered with really vivid dreams so that when you wake up you feel like you've been awake having bizarre adventures the entire time anyway.
so sarah, you might say, why don't you try not going to sleep at 4 in the morning? to which i say to you, fuck you, i'm an adult and i'll stay up past my bedtime and eat ice cream for breakfast if i want. also, i've tried. oh, how i've tried. but the 4-hour rule is suspended in time, doomed to enact itself no matter where i start the timer. if i try to be a grownup and go to bed at midnight, i will inevitably wake up at 4 with no hopes of getting back to sleep and lots of pointless myspacing and ceiling-staring until the sun comes up.
i realize none of you give a shit. i'm writing this because i'm cranky. i haven't gotten a good night's sleep in like 3 weeks and i'm pissed and i'm going to complain so take that, internets.
posted by sarah at 8:40 AM
4 Comments:
that's so odd; the same thing has been happening to me for the past 2 months. i can't seem to go to bed before 3 am, no matter how tired i feel. i bet al gore was right and everything is all about global warming.
If only I could actually wake up in the morning, I'd sympathise a bit more with you. However, I do know being tired sucks--considering I'm tired 95% of the time for no good reason. Have you tried any habit-forming/mildly dangerous pills?
Anyhow, you owe me approximately 97 calls back. Give or take. I guess I'll see you at the coffee shop sometime.
I restarted my blogger account. just lettin ya know!
This is Joe Thornhill, btw.
Post a Comment
<< Home